Forgive Yourself, and Forgive Each Other

As Jenny’s dad said in Muppets Take Manhattan, “Peoples is peoples. Rats is peoples. Frogs is peoples. Dogs is peoples. Peoples is peoples.” He was looking around his restaurant at his motley crew of Muppets questing for their dreams in New York and reminding everyone that we have more that makes us the same than different. 

In the same way, all of us who find ourselves in educational spaces are peoples. Some of us are children and some of us are grown, but we’re still all peoples. And we all make mistakes.

So, as educators, we need to prepare and adjust for mistakes. We know that our audience is comprised of students, and many of us have upwards of thirty other people in the room with us. For those of us in other roles, like administration, we have the students as well as the staff and teachers. When we predict mistakes, we cease to be surprised by them, and when we make them a necessary part of the learning process, we invite students and ourselves to stumble up our individual mountains together. This process ties back with the last learning norm - learning is messy, and most of that is because people are messy. 

But, forgiveness is learned. It does not come naturally. So, the only way to make sure your learning environment forgives its participants is to begin with yourself. If you are not willing to be open and transparent with your educational practices, philosophies, planning, and grading then no one else in your space will be open either. Learners learn from their leaders, so we have to model and be comfortable with practices before we can ask them to do it themselves. When I have a typo on my slides, as I did today (apparently ordeal has an “A” in it…), I laugh at myself and make a joke of it. I choose to forgive myself. When there’s a schedule conflict because of a snow day make-up meeting, you ask for forgiveness and reschedule again. There are so many voices in the word looking to bring you down: don’t add your voice to their chorus. 

However, forgiveness of the occasional gaffe is not enough. Forgiveness has to be baked into the practices as well. Forgiveness must be constant. Evaluation needs to be forgiving as well. When evaluating learners in process, there has to be room for growth, and if we are averaging the beginning of the year with the end of the year, it punishes instead of forgives, and the one who is being evaluated gets that message. There are many instances of people giving up because they weren’t good at something instantaneously. That’s a learned behavior through years of punishing evaluations. Rather, when we practice forgiveness in evaluation, we can show how we are forgiving our peoples for being peoples, and allow them to grow into better peoples. Don’t average: assess. Sit beside them in the current context. Show them their mistakes, and show them yours. Guide them through to better understandings. Be their educational sherpa: guide them up the mountain. Hold your own pack, and pick each other up when you make mistakes. And next time when we see the same type of rock in the path, learn from the mistake and don’t punish yourself for making it before. Let’s always be here for each other and forgive each other and ourselves.

The Who is More Important than the What

When it comes right down to it, every single learner is a person. And, as educators, so are we. We have families, so do they. Some of them have tenuous relationships and some have fulfilling ones. Like so many, there’s probably a mix in their lives when it comes to relationships, just like for us. Some of our learners remember some of the things that we teach them, but generally, they remember how they feel in our spaces. Overall, it’s more important to take care of the individual rather than the content knowledge or the curriculum or the pacing guide. Without putting the individual first, and recognizing their humanity, learning will not happen.

Think about COVID, and the beginning of the pandemic. Some students were worried. Some lost family. Some worked jobs to help financially. Most everyone was struggling to survive: mentally, emotionally, or physically. So if they took time to relax, to take a mental health period, to be sick or take care of another person, that was okay. The who - the person - is more important than the what - the subject matter. COVID laid bare what was always true - crises happen and they affect the individual and their performance at life. What COVID did was make all of us share in a collective crisis that affected, and still does affect, all of us. And, at the end of the day, we are all people.

In the long run, the time we spend with our learners is a blip in their lives. Learners will rarely recall the formulas, the strategies, the literature, or the dates, but they will remember how they felt during their time in the space with their educators. So, foundationally, when we make them feel good and supported, that matters. As teachers of children, we’re acting in loco parentis - and a parent must ensure that the individual is loved and cared for, no matter what. No matter our role in the educational space, we must always remember to lead with the ethic of care and remember to be good stewards to leave people and spaces better than when we found them. “Above all, do no harm.” Once we start to center our learners, and see who the learners are at the moment, then we can really create space for them to grow. School is not life, it’s just a part of it. 

During virtual school, I had a student who reached out to me in crisis, and I answered the call. I put the who ahead of the what. I called the parent, the head counselor, the department of student activities, and just asked them to do a wellness check. It was scary. Their situation read to me as a crisis. So, I had to jump in. She told me she was drowning, not waving. That experience centered this idea for me: a person is more important than any lesson we teach, any idea we articulate, any test we give.

It all comes back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The foundational elements need to be secured before we begin to build upwards. So, we center the who. When we think about vision and development and all of the acronyms of education, we have to remember to put humans first. We are in the business of humans and their development; we have to remember that they are what we are. We’ve been where they are. They’re doing what they do for a reason - everything is feedback, so keep the door open. Recognize that the who is always more important than the what.

Controlled Burn > Controlled Chaos

Nowadays, a good learning environment is often described as one of “controlled chaos”. Visitors to classrooms expect to see students in motion: active and engaged. The room should be loud. The learning should look messy. The instructor should be everywhere all at once. Keynote speakers and presenters at conferences have sermonized from the lectern about these words and told educators how to “curate”, “construct” or “design and plan” this vaunted “controlled chaos.” 

The problem is the word chaos. Chaos is a mess. Chaos is frightening. People don’t want chaos. It’s the antithesis of control. How on earth is a lesson plan and slide deck going to be able to “curate” chaos? How can we “design and plan” standardized yet chaotic assessments? How can we “construct” a welcoming learning environment rife with uncertainty and mayhem? Imagine the dynamic, authentic, varied, differentiated, controlled chaos classroom through another metaphor: a controlled burn instead of controlled chaos.

In a controlled burn there is designing and planning and curating, but there is space for the moment to be. It’s a space for reality. A controlled burn is an attempt to use fire to both destroy and create. A chaotic thing - fire - in a dynamic environment - the forest - elements shift in each and every moment. These realities determine what the forest rangers and firefighters will do to keep the burn going. That’s the goal. To keep the fire going to accomplish the greater goal - create space for the new. As the facilitator, leader, coach, teacher, or whatever, educators are forest rangers and firefighters. There’s the education and skill acquired from training and the benefit of the experience that results from fighting fires year over year and growing through past successes and failures. The forest is the space that education inhabits. The goal is to clean out the old growth and trees to allow space for the new, for the forest to grow and thrive. In this way, the forest is also the individuals with whom we work as guides, facilitators, mentors, teachers, and yes, sometimes firefighters and forest rangers.

How do successful controlled burns happen? Read the wind, taste the air, put your hands in the dirt and see how it feels. Respond to the context and the moment, listen to the echo from the data from weeks ago, and the lesson first taught decades ago. But live in the now. Respond to what is seen and understood currently; there’s a fire! Planning and preparation are supports that facilitate the ability to change on the fly with success. Good preparation enables the ability to reflect, fail forward, and change when needed - especially when the wind shifts, the fire jumps the highway, and a few houses burn down. 

So fail forward, own the mistake, and move on with the knowledge of what happened and why it went bad. We are people who are dealing with other people. We cannot have chaos because it breeds more chaos. We have to have control with the ability to adapt, especially because the conversations, lessons, policies, discipline, or assessments of the past might not work in the future, for the future. With a controlled burn, we can plan for the best, while still leaving room change and growth for all of us.